Integrating Grief

Grief and loss are part of living. It is often difficult to remember this.

Year 2001 was the first time, as an adult, that I’d experienced how quickly life can change. It was the very first time I said goodbye to a loved one due to physical illness. Many of us have experienced significant loss and major life changes in recent years. We have continued to work through the mix of memories related to how life has changed on birthdays, holidays and anniversaries. 

Avoiding and denying our personal and collective grief can be useful ways to cope short-term, but long-term, can undermine our goals for health in subtle and observable ways.

It is unsustainable for us to deny when we are in a period of grief and this denial can affect multiple areas of our health when we are unable to invite and allow life-giving assistance from others. There have been times when the only thing I could make space for was a friend who was willing to sit with me in silence. 

After some time, I realized that I’d found my way through grief by first stopping to acknowledge my deep sense of loss, feel the pain or numbness of absence, connect with trusted others (family, friends, mentors, therapists, etc.), honor cherished and difficult memories, ask questions, and allow others to support me through it all. I have been able to reframe and digest grief by letting the gift of pain and loss inform my choices for living a life that is more whole. 

Practicing awareness and with a vision toward health and wellbeing, we can begin to know that suffering does not destroy us. We possess the capacity to make meaning of suffering in ways that support our goals for total health and wellbeing. When we allow ourselves to connect with grief, as we are able, it can affirm the human capacity to hold both our sorrow and our love. 

In health, 

Solita

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